So, I wake up this morning and in in pain, tensonitis in the Achilles… it permitting and frustrating… it’s a secondary symptom of my Sarcoidosis… discomfort, need some painkillers pronto.
The sarcoidosis is a pain in it’s own rights, attacking my lungs, I have 50-60% oxygen absorption of each breath… get tired easy, sleep a lot, weak and weary??? everything is twice as hard, and making art involves ensuring not of the chemicals involved are liable to irritate my breathing.
Some of my art has hints and reminders, some of the imagery refers to my condition…. it seeps in, when you’re sitting in front of a artwork listless and unfocused… you can get angry, annoyed with your own inability..
I have a spinal injury too, I bend down to pick up a brush I dropped, it’s a strain to straighten back up, I get a head rush and start to cough… I groan like a weightlifting pensioner… I get back to the art… fuck it, I’ll keep going, there is no other way.
I have a lot of artist friends that are impressively diligent…. working away, daily, keeping at it, constant…. they produce significant bodies of work… a wide range, broad scope… quantity & quality.
I’m a little different… I work in bursts… I’m ill, I have no energy, no stamina… some days I can’t work, some I work in bursts, 15 minutes, an hour… whatever I can handle… I’ve learnt to work fast, get it done… it’s something you work around, find your level…. and I sometimes wonder if it’s what makes the work the way it is….
it’s interesting how it owns out and fascinating to see how other people achieve their goals…. and that’s definitely one thing that adds to the experience….