so, another new year, they seem to come around so quickly that you don’t often notice how the years past. But, then again, they are just an arbitrary tick tick in the background as you plod along…..
I could talk about change, about how I’m going to do lots of different new and exciting things, that’s what you always do it this time year, but whether or not it happens it not always important… sometimes it’s just nice to have plans and goals, so I tried to keep this in mind and look forward to what might happen in 2018.
I do have some new ideas, some new people to work with, some new goals and exhibitions so I think it’ll be definitely interesting and I’m looking forward to see what happens.
So, it marches forward, tick tock, it’s interesting…. I’ve looked at what I needed to change, to do better, to stop, to start, this year, and slowly I’m starting to recognise what works and what needs renewing…. some of the painting and drawing techniques I was using, and considered redundant, now seem quite important, other stuff I hoped to do now seems unnecessary.
I got back to print a little recently, and some of my older work seems relevant and fresh…
so I’m stirring the pot and keeping the flavours fresh, but not too much new spice….
I hurt my back again , or rather to be more specific it would be easier to say my back is hurting, it’s the injury, it’s always there, and right now it’s right here, chipping away.So I’ll stand down in the studio and wonder if I can channel the discomfort into what I’m trying to do, into the changes I’m trying to make, to not just indulge my own cliches but the express the core of what I’m trying to put into my work. I’m not even sure if the discomfort of this spinal injury is something that can really express itself through art or indeed whether it should all be indulged.
But then, on consideration it has always there, informing my practice in less obvious ways, sometimes slowing me down or stopping me, sometimes ensuring that I can’t work in the style or at the pace that I would desire, and sometimes it’s even right there on the canvas. So, just like the sarcoidosis, or dreary days or petty annoyances it is it important part of what I am and therefore an important part of what I do.
I realised at a certain point on certain works that I was looking at the painting from the wrong perspective… thinking, realising…. there is a goal,, that’s to see when a painting Is finished, gather than looking finished… and that, oddly, when you consider it should be obvious, was a wee bit of a revelation. So now, I’m reviewing, re-viewing, reconsidering what I am looking at at any given moment and hoping that this new clarity will lead me somewhere interesting……
As I’ve said, I’ve been looking at changing things in my art practice. It really felt important, and necessary…. I’d often gotten to a point where I feared I’d just run around in circles, or indeed, get bored with what I was doing or just feel that it wasn’t exciting enough… just one of those things, when you’re sitting somewhere, looking at or merely thinking about what’s happening, and you just think…. this is shite and pointless… so then it’s time to make some sort change…, I kinda feel, if you’re doing the same thing a few years down the road, then you’re doing nothing….
So I hit a landmark birthday, I felt it, it didn’t slip by, it was like a big old train steaming through… I looked out of its window, and I desired that fresh view. This was great, I actually felt that it was a good time to change, to reevaluate…
So I decided, on one hand and it kind of happened on the other, but change was engendered. I didn’t want to keep approaching my practice in the same way, I wanted to reexamine…. everything about how I was painting, drawing, printing, I wanted to look at, and not waste time with it…. and this was very interesting, because it made perfect sense to me.
I’ve been peeling back, chipping away, scrubbing ideas and, when it comes down to it, trying to make everything new and fresh, challenging myself, a new approach, and to be honest, it’s great, and fun, and finally, today, I got stuck into some new work, and it’s joyous…..
It’s fun, sometimes, to consider the secrets paintings and their subjects contain. I enjoy it, even with my own pieces… to think, to consider, what might be going on.
This idea, is part of the dialog between artist and audience, an invitation for consideration….
I sometimes find, that perhaps unintentionally, I have presented an image with a degree of ambiguity or indeed a sense that even I, as the artist, may be unsure… and that’s okay, because, I do feel that, as part of the conversation, the viewer must be comfortable with their own ideas and/or interptritation, rather than just have the work dictate too distinctly..
When a member of the audience for Re:Collect wrote that looking at my works was like looking at themselves, I truly felt it had achieved much more than I could have hoped… and that’s the thing, artists must allow the viewer in through that crack in the door, and when they do, they allow a little more light to shine on the work…..